Some kids may excel in all aspects if we have high expectations for them. But numerous children suffer from mental problems because of the pressure from their parents.
There is a fine line that differentiates high expectations and high pressure. Sadly, most parents these days do not see and understand the differences between the two. As a parent, we can still set goals for our kids without putting too much pressure on them. We just need to ensure that our children and we understand clearly about that ‘line.’
There’s nothing wrong with setting high expectations for our children. This helps them to be at their best. As our kids grow older, they should learn important things in the world. One of these is to find their perfect spot in it.
With the overwhelming number of things that our kids must learn, it is important to know that every child has different sources of motivation. The problem is that most parents don’t know what these are.
It is essential to set high expectations for our children. This is because if we don’t set high standards of expectations on them, they will not have the motivation to learn and strive to become a better person.
As a parent, we play an important role in our kid’s lives. So, if we set high expectations on them, they will do their best to meet our standards. Also, setting high expectations does not only build their character. It also affects their behavior, self-worth, and attitude.
How Do High Expectations Differ from High Pressure
Although expectations will push our kids to achieve their best, they will shift into pressure whenever they are unsupported, impractical, and inflexible. Remember, high expectations are meant to push our kids to grow at their full potential, while pressure will drive someone to be the best.
Although high expectations make our kids become more capable and feel more confident, pressure can lead our children incapable of reaching our expectations.
In connection, even though high expectations may encourage and motivate our children, pressure can lead them to develop anxiety, avoidance, and low self-confidence.
Tips to Set High Expectations to Your Kids without Over Pressuring Them
The following are the approaches and attitudes we need to adopt to set high expectations for our kids while lowering their pressure.
Set Practical, Sensible, and Clear Expectations
Our kids may feel pressured and overwhelmed since they don’t know and understand our expectations of them. For instance, we want them to perform well in class. But, what do we mean by this expectation? Do they need to be top-class performers, acquire good grades, or obtain new skills and knowledge?
We need to set expectations that our kids can achieve. Also, ensure that our expectations are clear for them to avoid being overwhelmed and pressured. This tip does not focus on the results but rather on the processes.
Focus on Fulfilled Potentials and Personal Bests
Remember, not all kids can be at the top of the class or be a top basketball team member. But, they can still acquire new knowledge and excel in the class, and they can still play basketball and improve their skills.
Aiming for fulfilled potentials is always beneficial and reasonable for the part of the kids and their parents. But, setting expectations that they should always be the number one in the ranking is usually detrimental and unproductive.
Making Mistakes is Normal
Our kids also need help. They don’t know everything, and they need to seek help to learn it. So, it is expected that they may ask our help to do their projects and assignments. There’s nothing wrong with lending them our help. But, we must remember that our kids should grow competently to reach and fulfill their obligations.
If we would help them in everything, they may think that we have low expectations of them. Although they fail in one aspect of their life, let us teach them that failure is inevitable and may happen in most people.
With that, our children will become more motivated to make mistakes and learn from them.
We can do lots of things to set high expectations for our kids without putting much pressure on them. Remember, expectations are meant to help our children reach their best, not to be the best in every aspect of life.