I am Marcia Backs – a mother, a former hi-tech journalist, former communications manager, now a freelance editorial manager.
Today I decided to reclaim my blog and come back to write articles that are a little more personal and that are close to my heart. I created Marcia Backs Tromdolls out of a desire to share my life as a mother for the caring people who read me and can recognize themselves in many situations.
We met during our studies and had been together for 9 years. We were a couple that didn’t argue a lot (I hate conflict). We had a good communication, at least that’s what I thought… He had wanted a child for several years already, he was talking to me about it when we were barely 20 years old. I was not totally against it but I wanted to finish my studies and to work for at least a year in order to have a stable situation before I started. We had Fiona when I was 26 and he was 27.
For me, deciding to have a child represents the adventure of a lifetime, an immense commitment, the most beautiful proof of love. Unfortunately, a few months ago, I was betrayed by the person I trusted the most. On top of that, we were trying to make Fiona a little brother or sister. I guess you can imagine my reaction… I was not expecting it at all.
MY PICTURE OF THE PERFECT LIFE
I almost never failed in my life. I got the education I wanted, my diplomas on the first try, got my license… I created my own job, I owned a nice new apartment, I had Fiona quite young, I was thinking about getting married soon and having a second child… I was following a “perfect” life path.
For me, having a family was the most important thing. I find that life is difficult enough, and that being well surrounded in your cocoon with your loved ones is the most important thing ever. As they say: Family first! Then one day this model failed and all my dreams collapsed… The idyllic image I had of love, of a couple and a family shattered.
WAKE UP CALL
After a month of sinking and having lost a considerable amount of weight, I decided to get up and fight for my daughter. Mourning for my couple was eventually quicker than I had expected. I realized that I was probably living a better life without infidelity and disrespect. Maybe the breakup wasn’t such a bad thing. I was locked in this relationship with all the pressure of daily life on my shoulders.
On the other hand, I find it very difficult to get used to the idea of my daughter having her parents separated and all that this implies. I know it’s common nowadays but as I explained above it wasn’t the life I imagined and wanted to offer for my daughter… I wanted to protect her from everything so that she could live in a happy and united family. Unfortunately for me, that’s where I failed and it’s hard for me today.
I finally have more strength than I thought and I am gradually regaining confidence in myself, in life, and in the future. I am here for my daughter. She comes first, but I don’t forget myself. I try to reduce my stress and get rid of my negative emotions that are still a little present. I wish to become a fulfilled single mother: a strong, responsible woman who can handle all kinds of situations.
I have realized that perfection does not exist and that happiness should not be lived through the eyes of others but it is up to us to create it and see it. I tell myself that life is beautiful and that nothing happens by chance. I have to mourn this image of a perfect life that I had and which is finally, in retrospect, very silly. I was influenced by society, all the social pressure… Today I don’t want to follow any more models, I just want to follow my path with my daughter, without taking my head off and just live my life.
About Marcia Backs Tromdolls:
➸ The main themes are babies and lifestyle.
➸ The products received free of charge by the brands are mentioned at the bottom of the articles.
➸ Links can be affiliated.
The content of this site is subject to copyright and may not be reproduced without my permission. Thank you.
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